"Don't bother us while we are eating" the nations CEOs say almost unanimously

This week, a survey done by the fat fucks at the Heritage foundation found that 99% of CEOs are enraged when people do not respect their lunch hours by making calls their private cell phones. Chrysler CEO Howie Stetsler explains how he feels when when asked during an interview with Heritage's reporter Mark Fuhrman for the survey.

Mr Fuhrman asks "So what exactly is you grievance against people calling your on your lunch hour?". To which Mr Stetsler replies "People obviously don't get that laying people off takes a shitload of energy and I need downtime/relaxation/pussy. In other words don't call me on my fucking lunch hour.", says Chrysler big wig Howie Stetsler. "I mean jesus christ, its blah blah blah this from union people with their "its christmas time please don't leave people in the cold" thing , then is blah blah that from the goddamned saints in HR who "have found a way to save 3000 jobs!!"". Mr Fuhrman states "Well those obviously sound like legitimate reasons to call you anytime sir, you are after all the creme of the corporate crop with Ivy League degrees, a word class salary, and access to a private jet." Stetsler replies "I don't really give a shit about there so called "crisis" situations or saving jobs, I am trying to fucking eat my seared humpback whale in peace! These people are the lucky ones that haven't been replaced by robots or been sent to India, they should leave the me fuck alone and be grateful for leniency I have shown them."

Stetsler tells "One time I spent months and like a couple hundred grand trying to get reservations at Wolfgang Puck's new underwater restaurant (Le Whale). And then I had to spend a couple of million fucking chartering a submarine to the restaurant so that I could get this hot bimbo from accounting with huge knockers and a pencil waist and we could make the reservation before she gets laid off (with the rest of the worthless bimbo accountants), because the regular submarine ferry service is full!!!!!". Stetsler says "I mean millions of dollars and decades in man hours so I can get laid by this hot chick underwater after eating endangered humpback whale in peace on my lunch hour, with no calls. Is that too much to ask?" With astonishment Stetsler adds, " And then I find that the restaurant has added cell towers placed underwater for some god forsaken reason, jesus christ on a pencil stick!! Then the fucking nerve of people that have the balls to call me on my lunch hour about some employee "crisis" while I have spent so much effort to get this date, should have their balls chopped off!!!!!!!!". Stetsler finally says when interviewed "Can't I get laid underwater, after eating whale meat, and spending millions of corporate dollars in peace????!!!!"

Mark Fuhrman asks "Mr Stetlser, don't you think that is a blatant waste or corporate money and goes against your duties as the CEO of a major corporation?" Mr Stetlser answers, "Leave me the fuck alone I need to go kill some baby seals and take some steam off. Sheeesh!!!!"