Bob Ross shows proven more effective than Demerol in government studies

These days the man with the big hair and the "happy trees" is really pissing off executives at the Pfizer drug company. Plasma screens with Bob Ross videos are steadily replacing the drug Demerol in hospitals and clinics around the country.

"We find that Bob Ross videos have twice the effectiveness of Demerol and the side effects are much more tolerable than the drugs." says Henry Hapsburg, the Dean of Medicine at the Harvard Teaching Hospital. He continues "The only thing we have to keep a watch over with Bob Ross videos is hypnotic effect it has on patients AND doctors.

We have had some near medical mishaps as doctors and patients experience the "Bob Ross drool effect"." "There is drool everywhere on the floors now, so we had to replace the pissed off janitors with new robots...which has really created a hell storm with the unions, but decreased costs" "Interestingly enough, the drool has cut down on restroom breaks, decreased stress, and increased productivity across the board. We just have to watch out for doctors drawn into the Bob Ross trance so that they don't do anything drastically wrong with a cast saw or catheter."