Apple looks at cutting edge options for replacing Steve Jobs

Apple has considered turning Steve Jobs into a cybernetic organism against his will to keep the flagging company going.  An anonynous source inside apple says "Cyborg steve would give us 6 more years of full CEO functionality at an energy savings of 100% with virtually no family requirements at all."  The source also adds " But then there is the possibility that in the last year of his functionality he will go on a murderous rampage of engineers to extend his life cycle...you never know the liabilities of turning someone into a cybernetic organism."  Cyborg Steve would have an estimated 75% of the visionary capabilities of the current Steve Jobs so it is among the strategies being considered.  Also being considered is the genetic fusion of Steve Ives with Steve Jobs to produce an offspring that will entered into a matrix like virtual reality where their learning rate will offer vastly superior industrial designed computers and consumer electronic devices at a rate never seen before in the western world. "Currently we are weighing the pros and cons of all these incredibly high tech alternatives." the source added "Lets just hope all of these experiments don't lead to some pissed off self aware cyborg that decides to level Cupertino in an apocolyptic rage."